If there is a book of personal development to have at home it is the book "The 4 Toltec Agreements" by Miguel Ruiz. In this little booklet of a hundred pages, the author teaches you 4 principles to apply in your daily life to live a simple, serene and fulfilled life.
1. May your word be impeccable.
This first principle is, according to the author, the most important but also the most difficult to implement. It invites you to become aware that words have an impact on the one who receives them as well as on the one who pronounces them. The word is "a double-edged blade," it can do good as well as harm.
Telling the truth(or at least your truth) in an appropriate and not intentionally hurtful way is to become responsible for your reality. By honoring this principle, you are making a commitment to yourself to take care of the words you use in order to most accurately convey your thoughts without wanting to destroy or harm others.
Indeed, misery is a poison that, even if it is projected outward, always ends up back at the sender. By feeding and expressing rumors, you significantly alter your perception of reality. Your gaze is fied by beliefs that do not belong to you and that you have come to own.
"Let your speech be impeccable" reminds us of that famous expression that we have all heard at least once: "turn your tongue 7 times in your mouth before speaking"... That's how important this maxim is in many civilizations.
2. Whatever happens, don't make it personal.
This second principle simply means that you are not responsible for the reaction of others. There is no such thing as 1 truth. Everyone has his own vision according to his codes, his experience, his experience etc...
You are responsible for what you say (agreement 1) but not for its interpretation!
On the other hand, when others share their opinions with you, it is their vision of reality through their own prism. If someone insults you and that insult touches you, it is because, in some way, you have allowed it... The same is true for compliments...
"Not making it personal" is basically having enough confidence in yourself to not let the sayings and behaviors of others affect you. It's about you releasing yourself from the gaze of others and leaving your pride behind!
3. Don't make assumptions.
This third principle invites you to post your questions when you have them. There are no silly questions. It is better to express concerns, ask for clarification than to make assumptions which, most of the time, are completely wrong. Indeed, your suppositions are only projections of a hypothetical reality imagined according to your own filters and, above all, your own fears.
For example, you send a text message to your boyfriend. He does not answer. Faced with this silence, you will start to elaborate a scenario (usually catastrophic) that only responds to your fears of abandonment, rejection, lack of self-confidence, etc... When in reality, the phone was off the grid, out of battery, on silent etc....
No one reads the minds of others. Expressing your needs clearly can avoid many misunderstandings...
"Don't make assumptions" saves you from unnecessary suffering.
4. Always do your best.
This fourth agreement bridges the gap between the previous three. Your "better" changes in every moment, it fluctuates according to your physical and psychological state. So, even if the intensity of your efforts is not the same all the time, it doesn't matter as long as you try to do your best. This takes away the guilt, frustration, regret, and overly strict judgment you may sometimes have about yourself.
"When you do your best, you learn to accept yourself. Miguel Ruiz wants you to understand with these words that by doing so, the mistake is no longer one but rather an opportunity to learn, to surpass yourself and to know yourself better. There is no more room for internal judgment, only for acceptance of who you are.
To conclude
These 4 principles are like a code of conduct, a life philosophyallowing you to release your limiting thoughts. They open the way to serenity, to the inner peace, full acceptance and love.